I had these broken dreams
of the lingering memories of Eden
Personal heaven and boundless joy
feelings of the intimacy between
the great mother and her imperfect creation
I can almost grasp the ecstacy
almost percieve the formless emotions
becoming the emptiness of being unborn
and then I'm suddenly awake
aware of the imperceptible darkness
crushing my chest and grasping
my brain in an icy vice
Sleeping becomes a refuge
even though the veil is transitory
an illusion conceived as a mechanism of defense
I'll dream about suicide
and while in the middle of terror
my heart pounds mournfully
sweat on my brow
while I silently and simultaneously wish
the nightmare was real
