to quit dulling my senses
to stop with the alcohol
and open myself up to things
that I've been avoiding most of my life
There's definitely a better sense of purpose
a clarity of emotional energy
not necessarily a better picture
but at least I see the picture now
More of a physical feeling
my entire body vibrating with the sound
of the throbbing pulse of reality
People existing and broadcasting
I'm absorbing it all
and it is a beautiful thing
to be able to observe and interpret
so many different layers and nuance
At the same time
I'm drowning in this nebula
too many things are hitting all at once
I'm processing like a road flare
and I'm going to burn out
sooner rather than later
The floodgates remain fully open
I pour this confusion into things
items for consumption bit by bit
the audience sees the finale
but not the entire production
I don't trust anyone with the process
but I hope what I put out there is enough
when the light fades away
