Not on just a surface level
although I've been called cute
I'm not sure what to do with this
I don't see myself as others do
it is a limitation of perception
I'm not sure why I don't believe
something pulls me into insincerity
I don't mean to call anyone a liar
I'm held hostage by post traumatic stress
Terrible things uttered in my direction
I didn't get that shit either
I exist with such exhausting kindness
never understanding hostility
This crippling innocence around
positive things I'm blind to
Feeling like a total failure while at the same time
thinking I'm pretty damned OK
In my head I know these things aren't mutually exclusive
but I can't reconcile my heart
