multiple stops through unfamiliar places
There was only one thing on my mind
two if you counted the sense of relief
of leaving what had become a personal hell
if only for a few precious days
I was greeted by my parents
proud of my accomplishments
oblivious to my agony although
I wouldn't have told them had they asked
I settled in to my old room
preserved like a shrine
It made my mother feel better and
I think she knew I needed the comfort of familiarity
Late into the night while the normal slept
I silently walked outside and carefully
rolled my car out of the driveway
I'm not sure if the parents didn't notice
or didn't care
I was an adult after all on holiday
from some sort of forced life
Traveling through my hometown
memories consumed as I felt myself cry
This whole scenario felt insane
did she even want to see me
Our last conversation didn't go well
I didn't know where we stood
But I hadn't seen her in months and something in my primal mind needed her
I parked a couple of blocks away
Suspicious yes but not to her
or her parents who would be irate
if they knew I was creeping around
She was outside smoking a cigarette
beautiful as ever
noticing me approach but betraying no emotion
until her lips met mine
Hands all over each other we climbed into her window
Silently giving in to every physical sensation
She drug me to her bed
in the darkness I felt my clothes fall away
losing myself in pure untamed sexual release
It felt like nanoseconds and hours simultaneously
we became one soul through pleasure
When it was over she said
"you should go before my parents wake up"
The only thing she said the entire time
I wordlessly got dressed
the darkness and chill of the night
wrapping me in a dull sadness
I don't remember driving home
just ending up in my old room
surrounded by familiarity
wondering what it was I was really chasing
