Going nowhere fast...or going a lot of places really slowly? Both states of consciousness are eerily similar. Surrounded by a feeling of floundering while at the same time feeling as if something, anything is being accomplished. These conflicting emotional states crest in opposition, trapping one in a locked box of ambivalence. Do I go over here or over there? Do I want to be going anywhere?
There are days where I'd simply like to exist. There are a heap of expectations flying in from thousands of directions and while some of them may be well meaning, they're annoying at best and impossible at worst. Ive heard that its empowering to set your own expectations but the responsibility is daunting.
Being a self-aware being is difficult. It seems sometimes that the less aware you are, the happier you'll be. Ignorance is bliss but when do you cross the line between being happily unaware and being unhappy that you are unaware? Is it a conscious thing or is it something buried deep underneath vapid Facebook posts at the bottom of some bottle?