Music has literally saved my life. Music is the first thing I remember. I'm convinced that I started my love affair with music while I was still in the womb. It helps that mom is just as in love with music as I am and that I was exposed to music even before I was born. There's something to be said about music being in a person's DNA too. Both my parents are musical people as well as my grandparents as far as I know. When I was younger, music was an escape from the chaos that makes up my existence. I had the usual pressures of childhood to contend with. Bullying, trying to navigate through school while being "different" and all that crap. I also had to deal with being pathologised and being whispered about behind closed doors. Even though I didn't fully understand the scope of this, it still hurt. Music made the hurt a lot more tolerable and for a few minutes at a time, I could just lose myself in a song and not really think about anything else.
Through high school, I shared my love of music with others and connected to people deeply through mutual musical interests. I developed a love of the art of the mixtape (mix CD if you want to be technical) and that's where I think I got the DJing bug although I didn't know it at the time. Eventually, music became digital and I had access to a medium that I had never thought was possible. Digital music is amazing. You can have enough songs as not to repeat one for a year in a small physical space. I don't think anything is really lost with digital music for the most part and the advantage of easy access usually outweighs quality issues.
Throughout the years, many people have suggested meditation as a way to stay grounded. Traditional meditation techniques don't really work well for me. My brain just isn't wired that way. What I have figured out is a way to meditate through music. At first, it involved just listening to a mix of music and allowing my mind to go blank. That still works surprisingly well. Throughout the years, as mixing music has gotten easier through practice, I've managed to get into that meditative head space while mixing music. It is quite therapeutic. I've noticed even if I am at my lowest point, a good mix session can bring me out of it. It is interesting recording these sessions too, as I can play them back and work through any emotion I might have been feeling at the time.
Sometimes I forget that I've trained my brain in this way. I have to keep telling myself that I have this awesome relationship with music for a reason. Yes, it's absolutely wonderful and amazing that people enjoy the music I mix but that isn't why I do it primarily. I have to routinely let my brain escape and mix for the pleasure of mixing, not just do it for scripted shows. Don't get me wrong, my podcast is really fun to do but if I just confine myself to that format, some of the therapy in it is lost.
Here's to meditation to a groove. Hopefully it helps others as much as it helps me.
