It was a rainy day in January
Standing on the roof of a familiar place
Emotions darkly absent
A blank page where my mind was supposed to be
I couldn't live this way any longer
Stubborn determination to live
Gave way to acceptance of death
Subjective circumstances and lack of reaction
I couldn't see past the fog
I was prepared
On that rain soaked precipice
To embrace a final solution
Fighting wasn't worth it
Swimming uphill through the swamp
Held no meaning
Spiritual core curiously disappeared
This was where the final chapter ended
And then something pulled me back
An invisible hand manifested
In a simple push notification
"Appointment reminder: Brian, 2 PM"
I almost called to cancel
I almost threw my phone off the roof
Held in my hand
The gears in my head began to grind
And I realized I couldn't jump
Without at least an explanation
In the rain I walked to where I had to be
We didn't talk about it
I couldn't bring it up
But I think, deep in the subconscious
He knew
