Beaten into submission
I've been told I should just listen
I'm in no position
To trust my intuition
My identity the subject of erasure
My emotions swelling under a glacier
Everyone so focused on the surface
Shouting thier purpose
I have this drive, this obsession
That pain is no possession
Taking on the lesson
When someone else is less than
Everyone seems to talk to me
Confide in me
Cry to me even lie to me
Even when speaking their truth
I choose to lose
Pieces of myself torn asunder
Lightning and thunder
I don't know who I am
Master plan
I'm the suffering martyr
My soul I'll barter
To heal the wounds and right the wrong
Singing the song
I'm glad to suffer so you don't
Then I try to speak up but I won't
Because this is the kiss of destiny
I exist only in this capacity
I'm suddenly feeling selfish
I can't continue to be this
I've been bleeding drip by drop
Holding up myself as a prop
A wall a fortress a place of refuge
It isn't a thing I thought I could refuse
Forgive me for being self serving
Forgive me for thinking I'm deserving
Forgive me for pulling back
For allowing some slack
The line isn't my own to tow
There's a glow I know
I can be my own mind again
Even though I don't know where to begin
It starts with me being selfish
And I'm fine with that
