One night I decided to go to a half-assed party
at an unfamiliar venue somewhere downtown
I hadn't been in the area very long
and I needed a bit more socialization
The past few years had been hell
but I felt like I was getting my groove back
A friend I had met in community college
encouraged me to show up
I knew a few other people
The gathering was kind of dull
I wasn't really feeling the vibe
Then my friend asked me
"you wanna smoke some weed with this weirdo with a car?"
I hardly ever refuse free grass
So I met this guy
turns out he was my friend's ex
The second we locked eyes
I knew there was a connection
I don't believe in love at first sight but
this was the closest I've ever been
We smoked and talked about a bunch of things
figured out we had a lot of common interests (duh)
exchanged internet information
We started talking on various chats
began hanging out because he sold me weed
He was a student too just trying to survive
I bought him a sandwich once because he hadn't eaten in days
We ended up moving into his ex girlfriend's closet
Mutual homelessness really brings people together
or they end up hating each other
Eventually we got a house then another and now we're in this box
I wouldn't want it any other way
It seemed though we were this open situation
Together but not ultimately attached
I feared him wandering off
I didn't think I was worthy of singularly
Surely he'd find someone better than me
The truth is he adores me
and sometimes that's hard for me to wrap my brain around
We never really discuss it
We've been together so long it hardly seems to matter
but it feels more official
real
Maybe it is because of this awkward year
or maybe we've grown individually
and thus we've grown together
I don't know
I confess, I've never known love quite like this
I don't want to make it seem like my other loves are less important
There is equal and profound space in my heart
This is something different
and it's a secret I keep because I don't understand it
I feel all emotions doubled
and then there's this exponential thing
I think I've communicated this in my own goblin way
I'm sure he knows
