Something in my head is bleeding through
My eyes like cold steel
People give me polite deference
They usually do
Today feels abnormal
Maybe it is because I'm physically struggling
My limp feels more pronounced
I'm walking slower
Stopping to sit more often
It's the weight of a stomach ace, sure
There's something else
Heaviness on my soul I haven't felt before
Maybe I just didn't notice
Masks layered on masks layered on bandages
I'm giving myself something to do
I'm soaking up the winter sun
Escaping within myself is helpful
Still, I ache in this way
This way I can't begin to unravel
I can perceive I'm not alone
Equally soothing and equally sad
Loss is something never accustomed
The curse of living is talking about it
Mournful embrace an excuse
To see someone you never see
The irony of life
Missing someone until loss forces you together
And in the middle of the night
Silent tears ask the question
Why did I wait to say hello
